Who can i live for if not for myself?

Ive got this boyfriend, I found him, flirted with him, screwed him, kissed him, wanted him, had him, liked him, loved him, but now, now i need him.
Hes amazing, new, energetic and passionate, he consumes my thoughts, dominates my dreams, meets all my needs, hes become everything.

Sometimes i catch him looking at me, a tender expression on his face, and that need, that desire in his eyes, and it knocks me off my feet every time. Hes become my drug of choice, my high, my bliss. His love is so powerful it fills me up and leaves no room for my demons, he calms me, empowers and pleases me, hes a gift, hes everything.

But like all drugs, they leave you wanting more, they satisfy you once you get your hit, but once you get your fix your hooked, and without a continuous supply your in trouble, bring on the detox, the withdrawls.

With him i see life in colours, vivid plush purples, passionate pinks and sensational shades of orange, yellow and red, warm colours washing over the world in sensual hues. Without him life is grey, flat, lacking depth and reality. Its black and white, cold and mindane, totally lacking in all that i love, all that i need. When hes gone i get so depressed, i get so grey and 2 demensional that i find it difficult to even believe that im alive. I imagine im frozen, paused, waiting simply for his return so that i can once again breath and grow.

I grow towards him, but alone, alone i starve, alone i regress away from all the things hes taught me to love. Like a child who throws a tantrum when their parents leave, i throw my toys out of the cot. Maybe on an emotional, irrational level i believe that if i fail to thrieve in his absence, maybe hell stay with me. Emotional sustinance, feeding my soul with love, nurishing me with his presence.

But eventually everyone leaves, and eventually starvation has only one gaurenteed conclusion.